Birds do it. Bees do it.

Yendi does it, and the Jamaican Twitterverse’s proverbial Barbie Fantasy Dream House burns clean to the ground.

I am somewhat amused by this, I’m not going to lie. Jamaican news has been amusing me fairly frequently lately, not really in the wow this is hilarious way, but more like wow I can’t believe that with everything that is going on in this country, this is what we’re focusing on. Way to get your priorities right, Jamaicans way.
With that said, if I hear anything more about this flag controversy for the rest of the week, I am going to write about it. But let me not go off on one of my tangents.

I’ve remained pretty quiet on this, my little corner of the interwebs, for much too long now, and for that I apologize. I’ve no reasonable excuse for my absence, aside from lack of interest and lack of anything I felt I needed to say something about. But now I feel like I have to say something about this. There’s been almost no editing of this post, either; these are just my immediate thoughts as they’ve come up. So I’m sorry if I’m not ‘hard-hitting’ or whatever.

But anyway!

Now. Less than 24 hours ago, Yendi Phillipps, former Miss Jamaica Universe, Miss Universe first runner-up, and Jamaica’s darling, announced her pregnancy to her Facebook fans, friends, and by extension, the world.
Now, everyone knows that babies are miracles. It’s easy to just say, “oh, a baby is such a miracle!” But, have you ever really given any thought to all the things that need to align perfectly for a child to be conceived? Maybe we’ve all been desensitized by baby mother this and that. I don’t know. I’m not going to nerd out on you and turn this into a lesson in CXC Biology, I’m just going to leave it there and say conceiving a child is a HUGE deal and it really is a flat out miracle, and it’s something to be celebrated. But instead of embracing, celebrating and congratulating, for the vast majority of the Jamaicans sitting behind their laptops and punching away on their Blackberries who caught wind of this story when it exploded onto the scene last night, ignorance and badmind ensued.

Personally, my only problem with Yendi’s pregnancy is that she, at 4 months pregnant, looks better in a carnival costume than I do after however many months of careful diet and exercise but I digress, I digress. I’m going to take this opportunity to offer my congratulations to her and Chino, and wish her all the very best for the rest of her pregnancy.

I’ve always noticed that Jamaicans are a hard crowd to please. We’re like the stereotypical high expectations Asian parent on crack. There is absolutely nothing that can be done to please or satiate us. We love you one day but if you commit one indiscretion against us tomorrow, you’re dead to us. And Yendi has now gone and committed the worst offense: how DARE she, a grown-ass, accomplished woman, go and get pregnant — PREGNANT! With CHILD! — without our collective consent, blessing, and absolutely not how we would have had her do it. How DARE she not be married before she was brazen enough to not only have sex — SEX! — but fall PREGNANT!

Yes. In big-big 2012, a pregnancy out of wedlock is apparently still a huge problem, as if a significant majority of Jamaicans weren’t born within the sanctity of a marriage, as if every Jamaican mother with multiple children could say, yes, THAT man, that one sitting in the settee right there fathered each and every one of my children.
As if Jamaica is a shining example of the perfect nuclear family: Mummy, Daddy, a boy and a girl, complete with a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house with a white picket fence and a Golden Retriever in the backyard.

Don’t be ridiculous.

I say it all the time. Let he who is without blame cast the first stone.
So let’s start with everyone standing, yeah?
How many of you have dared — DARED — to have sex — SEX! — outside of a marriage? Have a seat.
How many of you were yourselves born out of wedlock? Sit.
How many have children outside of a marital relationship? Bonus question: how many of you know who the father/s of each one of your children? Is anyone even still standing?

There’s a lot of talk about her being a role model for younger generations. Has everything else she’s done been wiped clean from her record because she’s unmarried and pregnant? Really?

C’mon, guys. Don’t be ridiculous. How about, instead of depending on Yendi and other public figures to be role models for your children, your nieces and nephews and brothers and sisters and cousins.. how about you do something revolutionary and be that role model for them?

Just a thought.

At the end of the day..